Bottom Shelf Mixology: Wasp Nest

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Wasp Nest (Stinger)

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 1 oz 99 Peppermint
• Red Pepper Flakes (optional)

The Wasp Nest is a rather straightforward recipe.  All you need to do is put the whiskey and peppermint schnapps(is the 99 brand schnapps?  I guess I don't really know what to call it, so we'll stick with that) in your glass and mix it up.

If you want the full force of drinking an actual wasp nest, add the optional red pepper flakes. 

On a somewhat related note, when I was in Kindergarten, I got stung on my tongue by a wasp after inadvertently eating it.

That's all you get of that story for now.  You'll have to check out the video for this recipe when it hits YouTube to get the rest of the story.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: The Glaive

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

In honor of RiffTrax Live: Krull, I have created a brand new BS Mixology recipe: The Glaive!

The Glaive is based on a drink recipe I found called 5 Keys.  Because, you see, the Glaive in Krull has five blades, and it will probably make your insides feel like they were sliced up by a bunch of blades... you guys get where I'm going with this.

The Glaive (5 Keys)

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 1/2 oz Balsamic Vinegar
• 1/4 oz Angostura Bitters
• 1/4 oz Maraschino Cherry Liquid
• 1 Maraschino Cherry

To assemble The Glaive, simply pour the four liquid ingredients into your shaker.

Pour from the shaker into your glass, and add the final ingredient: the maraschino cherry!

Whatever you do, do not try to sneak this into the theater before seeing RiffTrax Live: Krull.  That would be a very bad idea.

You should, however, drink a few of these if you ever watch Krull un-riffed.  You may remember this movie being cool, awesome, or even radical from when you watched it as a kid, but it's really not any of those three things.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Love Dump

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Love Dump

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Vodka
• 1 oz DeKuyper Hazelnut Schnapps
• 1/8 tsp Imitation Vanilla
• 1 Fit & Active Lemonade Drink Mix Stick

Put a few cubes of ice in your shakes, and pour in the vodka and hazelnut schnapps.  Shake slowly for 13 seconds.

Open the shaker and add in the imitation vanilla.  Without shaking the mixture further, strain it out into your cup.

Shoot it back, and then eat some of the lemonade mix straight out of the tube like Pixy Stix.

The original drink is supposed to taste like chocolate cake.  This version will most likely not.  It will probably taste more like what the song Love Dump (Static-X) is about.

Bit of trivia for you:  WCW Tag Team Kronik used a version of Love Dump for their intro music.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Vom Collins

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Vom Collins

• 2 oz Fleischmann's Gin
• 3 Tbsp Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
• 1 tsp Light Corn Syrup
• Seltzer Water
• Lemon Hard Candy Stick
• 1 Queen Anne Chocolate Cordial Cherry (just the cherry from the inside)
• Ice

Start by putting the gin, powdered lemonade drink mix, and corn syrup in your shaker with some ice, and shake until the ingredients are well mixed.

Strain it into a tall glass, and top it off with the seltzer water.  Garnish with the candy stick and the cherry from the chocolate covered cherry.

Drink while listening to your favorite Phil Collins song, and eventually you will be able to feel it coming in the air.

Oh Lord.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: After Dinner Mint

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

After Dinner Mint

• 1 pkg Hot Cocoa Mix (from that gift box that your aunt gave you for Christmas)
• 6 oz Tap Water (lukewarm)
• 1 1/2 oz Arrow Spearmint Schnapps
• 1 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 1 sick Freedent Gum

First, you are going to need to empty the hot cocoa packet into a large mug.  Then, measure out lukewarm tap water.  Just turn on the faucet, and as soon as the water starts feeling warm, measure out your six ounces.  Don't let it run and get hot either.  Add to the mug, and stir.

Next, add in your spearmint schnapps and whiskey, and stir a bit more.

Finally, garnish with a stick of Freedent gum.  This can be any of the three flavors, but spearmint is recommended.

This drink is the best way to wash the taste of any meal—delicious or disgusting—out of your mouth!

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 Episode 17: Millennial Martini

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

This one is all Andrew Leamon's fault!  He was telling me about LaCroix and it being taxed in Chicago, and how everyone was flipping out over it.  Because of this we decided to make it a drink!  I had never had LaCroix before, and I wish that was still the case. 

It's not good.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Hot Dad On Your Lips

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Today, I have a brand new recipe that is a collaboration between me and my internet friend Hot Dad!  He told me that a drink based on him should have Fernet in it, but at the lowest price (that I could find) at $25, it was a little too pricey for the Bottom Shelf.  Since Fernet is a bitter, we have replaced it with, you guessed it, cheap bitters.

Hot Dad On Your Lips

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Rye Whiskey
• 1/2 oz Amaretto
• 1/4 oz Angostura Bitters

Start watching the video below.  Put some ice in a tall glass.  Add the rum, amaretto, and bitters.  Until the end of the song, stir the drink.


Now that the song is over, pour the drink into a short glass while straining out the ice.

Drink, and enjoy another Hot Dad song.


Repeat until you have Hot Dad's entire library memorized.

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 Episode 15: Dark and Stormy

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 Episode 13: Three Wise Guys

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

Have we really been doing this for a year? Yes we have!

How are we still alive?  I'm still asking myself that question after this special episode.

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 Episode 8: Irish Potato "Soup"

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

In true Bottom Shelf fashion, we are a few days late for St. Paddy's Day, but here is our video for the Irish Potato "Soup"!

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 Episode 5: Bum Slush

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

Ever look at the gross brown slush on the side of the road in winter and wonder what it tastes like?  I can guarantee it doesn't taste worse than this week's drink!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Bum Slush

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Bum Slush (a.k.a. Wet Fart)

• 2 cups Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 4 cups Store Brand Diet Root Beer

This is a simple slush drink that can be made anywhere it is cold, like a freezer or in the gutter in the dead of winter!

Simply combine both ingredients in a bowl and allow to freeze.  This should only partially freeze, so if it gets too solid, start breaking it apart with a fork, and add more whiskey.

You can also add some ice cream and make a Wet Fart Float!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Earth Wind & Fire

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Earth Wind & Fire

• 1/2 oz Aftershock
• 1/2 oz 99 Peppermint
• 1/2 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey

Combine the Aftershock (fire), 99 Peppermint (wind), and whiskey (earth) in your shaker.  Add some ice.

Shake it while listening to September by Earth, Wind & Fire.  Pour, and enjoy!

Too many of these, though, and you will not remember the twenty-first night of September.  Or any other night.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Episode 16: Jet Fuel

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

In this week's episode, the Unpaid Intern Eric, G, and I drink some Jet Fuel. It went about as well as you think it would, especially with the off-brand sriracha I found!

And as a special bonus, Jackfelgar and G try the same drink recipe, but with quality ingredients!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Tetanus Shot

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

All month long, we are going to bring you some brand new Bottom Shelf Mixology recipes!

Tetanus Shot (Rusty Nail)

• 1/2 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 2 oz J&B Scotch
• 1 packet KFC Honey Sauce
• Ice

Stir the honey sauce into the whiskey.

Pour your mixture and the scotch in a glass nearly full with ice.

Drink enough of these and you will forget all about that nail that is sticking through your foot!

Bottom Shelf Mixology Episode 14: The Boiling Hipster

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Nectar to some, but terrible to most.

Fleischmann's Whiskey.  Winner of "Worst of the Worst" in The Whiskey Games.

Mix them together, and you have an unholy concoction that out new panelist G has no problem taking down.

Also, I can apparently not pour beer.


You can find this recipe and all of our other terrible Bottom Shelf stuff here.

You can become a Patreon and buy us a drink!

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: NFC West

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Here we are, in Week 8 of the NFL season, and with our final group of Rejected NFL Drinks.  This was a surprisingly large undertaking for us, and it is something that I hope to never do again.  

Join us now as we take on our final division: the NFC West.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: AFC South

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Week five of the NFL season starts tonight, and that means it is also time for part five of our eight part series of Rejected NFL Drinks.  We've been making nasty rejected drink for each team in the league and posting a division at a time.

Today, we've got our drinks for the AFC South.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Rejected Labor Day Drinks

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

It's Labor Day weekend, and for many people, that means the unofficial end of Summer!  We tried to come up with a drink recipe that you could serve to guests at your big barbecue this weekend, but everything we came up with was extra terrible.  So, we decided to make a new list of rejected drinks.  It was also suggested by multiple people on Twitter to go route of "labor as in giving birth." 

We are proud(?) to now present our four Rejected Labor Day Drinks!  Be warned, one of these is exceptionally nasty.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Jet Fuel

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Jet Fuel

• 1.5 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 1 Tsp Sriracha
• 1 Tsp Honey

Start by measuring out your sriracha, then pouring it into a glass.  Use the same spoon, with the remnants of sriracha on it, to measure the honey.  This way, the honey will not stick to the measuring spoon.  Stir well, and then add the whiskey.

This drink is great if you need a quick (albeit fiery) cleanse.

WARNING: This drink may melt steel beams!