Bottom Shelf Mixology: Breakfast of Champions

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Happy Shredded Wheat Day!  To celebrate this amazing holiday, we have a new recipe for you!

Breakfast of Champions

• 1 oz Heaven Hill Vodka
• 1 oz 99 Bananas
• 1 piece Bite Size Frosted Shredded Wheat

First you will need to place the cereal piece in your glass.

Then pour in the 99 Bananas, followed by the vodka.

Let it sit for a bit, so that the cereal gets nice and soggy.  Then drink/chew right before you head out the door for work*.

It might actually help you make it through the day!

*Please don't actually do this.  You will probably get fired.

12 Drinks of Christmas: The Red Nose

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

With Christmas on the horizon, we thought it would be a good time to start unveiling our new 12 Drinks of Christmas.  Between now and December 25, we will be unveiling our holiday-themed beverages (named after holiday characters) like some sort of twisted Advent Calendar.

Today's drink is themed around the most famous reindeer of all: Rudolph

Drink 4: The Red Nose

• 2 oz Heaven Hill Whiskey
• 2 oz DeKuyper Amaretto
• 1 Queen Anne Chocolate Cordial Cherry
• Ice

Put the ice, whiskey, and amaretto in a cocktail shaker, and shake vigorously and make airplane noises for thirty seconds.

Keeping the ice in the shaker, pour the drink into a glass.

Open the chocolate shell on the cherry, and put the cherry in the drink.

Drinking too many of these may impair your judgement.  You might think you're leaving the party with a very cude doe, only to wake up in the morning with an abominable snow monster.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: AFC South

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Week five of the NFL season starts tonight, and that means it is also time for part five of our eight part series of Rejected NFL Drinks.  We've been making nasty rejected drink for each team in the league and posting a division at a time.

Today, we've got our drinks for the AFC South.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Peach Pit

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Peach Pit

• 3 oz Peach Schnapps
• 3 peach wine coolers
• 8 oz Heaven Hill Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey
• 1/4 cup Lemonade Drink Mix
• 1/2 oz Mrs. Butterworth's Butter Flavored Syrup
• Ice

In a pitcher, mix the lemonade drink mix, whiskey, peach schnapps, and syrup.  Stir until the drink mix and syrup are dissolved.  Add in the ice and wine coolers.  Stir well.

Leave in refrigerator for 2 hours.

Pour into glasses, and serve to your dinner party guests.  Perfect way to clear out a barbecue after everyone has overstayed their welcome.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Dead Last

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

The Kentucky Derby is right around the corner, and to celebrate, we thought we would give you the BS version of the official drink of Kentucky: the Mint Julep.

Dead Last

• 3 oz Heaven Hill Kentucky Bourbon Whiskey
• 2 Spearmint Altoids, crushed
• Ice
• 3 Sweet'N Low packets
• 1 Piece Trident Spearmint Gum

Start by putting the Sweet'N Low and crushed Altoids in the glass.  Fill the glass with ice, then add the bourbon.  Stir.

Garnish the glass with the stick of gum.

Enjoy this version of the official drink of horse racing while you lose all of your money by betting on the long shot.

The Bottom Shelf Whiskey Games: Foul Four

Welcome whiskey fans to The Bottom Shelf Whiskey Games and the Foul Four!  We've got two great matchups for you tonight!

Fleischmann's and Heaven Hill from the South Division are up a little bit later, but first we have our face-off in the North between Canada LTD and the Canadian (out)House from the North Division.

The Whiskey Games - South Division Round Two

Welcome back to The Bottom Shelf - The Whiskey Games!   It is time for Round Two in the South Division!  And don't fret, our Round Two matches in the North are coming later this evening!

Our South Division second round match-ups are Fleishmann's vs. Ten High, and G & W Five Star vs. Heaven Hill.  Who will make it to the Foul Four?

The Whiskey Games - South Division Round One

Whiskey fans, let the madness begin!  Will there be upsets, or will the favorites dominate the regurgitate?

This is a battle for worst whiskey, not the best bottom shelfer. A definite race to the septic tank bottom.

Today we have eight bottom shelfers from the South Division trying to crawl their way through Round One.

The Whiskey Games

Welcome back to The Bottom Shelf with Russ!  In keeping with the theme of March Madness, cheapo whiskey will square off in it's own bracket tournament: The Whiskey Games. Let's get ready to stuuuummmmbble!

Bottom shelf whiskeys will battle each other for the title of worst whiskey ever. The competition will be strong, as all previously reviewed whiskeys, plus two unknowns, will be featured in this showdown.

The Bottom Shelf: Heaven Hill

The holiday season has come and gone, but The Bottom Shelf is forever!

Sorry about such a long wait between reviews, but Bottom Shelf Russ was doing some heavy research (ahem).

Heaven Hill is a cheap whiskey that, I am sure, got a lot of people thru their December activities and endless boring get-togethers with family.  However, for me it was just another piss poor excuse for booze.