Monday, September 7, 2015

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Rejected Labor Day Drinks

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

It's Labor Day weekend, and for many people, that means the unofficial end of Summer!  We tried to come up with a drink recipe that you could serve to guests at your big barbecue this weekend, but everything we came up with was extra terrible.  So, we decided to make a new list of rejected drinks.  It was also suggested by multiple people on Twitter to go route of "labor as in giving birth." 

We are proud(?) to now present our four Rejected Labor Day Drinks!  Be warned, one of these is exceptionally nasty.

The Sweatshop
  • 1/4 Habanero Pepper
  • 1.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
  • 1.5 oz Lady Bligh Spiced Rum
Mix the rum and whiskey together.  Place the section of habanero pepper in the drink.  Let it soak for one minute.  

Drink either with or without the pepper.  Sweat profusely, and reflect about the children that made your shoes.

Made In The USA
  • 12 oz Pabst Blue Ribbon
  • 6 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
  • 1 Large McDonald's Chocolate Shake
  • 1 pinch Copenhagen Moist Snuff
You will need a blender for this one.

Start by pouring the chocolate shake into the blender.  Add the whiskey and blend for 15 seconds.  Add the beer and do the same.  Finally, add the moist snuff and frappe the concoction for 30 seconds.

Drink and feel like a true American, proud that everything you have in that glass was made in the USA!

Bonus points if you also eat a Baconator.

  • 8 oz El Matador Tequila
  • 2 Vicodin
Drink this, and you won't feel anything.

Seriously though, don't drink this. You could literally die.

The Afterbirth
  • .5 oz Grenadine
  • 1.5 oz Baileys Irish Cream
  • 2 oz Crystal Palace Vodka
  • Some Liver
I can't even finish typing this one out, because I'm making myself sick thinking about it.