Bottom Shelf Mixology: Love Dump

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Love Dump

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Vodka
• 1 oz DeKuyper Hazelnut Schnapps
• 1/8 tsp Imitation Vanilla
• 1 Fit & Active Lemonade Drink Mix Stick

Put a few cubes of ice in your shakes, and pour in the vodka and hazelnut schnapps.  Shake slowly for 13 seconds.

Open the shaker and add in the imitation vanilla.  Without shaking the mixture further, strain it out into your cup.

Shoot it back, and then eat some of the lemonade mix straight out of the tube like Pixy Stix.

The original drink is supposed to taste like chocolate cake.  This version will most likely not.  It will probably taste more like what the song Love Dump (Static-X) is about.

Bit of trivia for you:  WCW Tag Team Kronik used a version of Love Dump for their intro music.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Whistle Tip

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Whistle Tip (a.k.a. Woo Woo)

• 1 oz Burnett Cranberry Vodka
• 1 oz DeKuyper Peach Schnapps
• 1 oz Cranberry Juice Cocktail
• Ice

Put the ice, vodka, schnapps, and juice into your shaker.

Shake for twenty-two seconds.

Pour into your glass.

Start the video below, and take a drink every time Bubb Rubb says "woo woo!"


You might need to prepare extra.

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 Ep. 14: Gonna Give It To Ya

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

Bottom Shelf Mixology Episode 2: Almond Flümgorp

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

Episode two of the Bottom Shelf Mixology series is here!  For this episode, we were joined by LinkslilTri4ce in our tasting of the absolutely disgusting Almond Flümgorp.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: The Pantsuit

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

As part of our celebration of Three Years on the Bottom Shelf, our staff of mixologists have started imagining some drinks for the only people we see on TV more than the Kardashians: Presidential Candidates*.

Our second candidate drink is The Pantsuit.  This is the one you drink so you aren't called sexist.

The Pantsuit (Arkansas Razorback)

• 1 oz Lady Bligh Spiced Rum
• 1 oz Congress Vodka
• 1 oz DeKuyper Amaretto
• 1 oz Sabroso Coffee Liqueur
• Ice

Put the ice in your shaker.  Pour in the coffee liqueur, vodka, and amaretto.  Finish with the Lady Bligh on top.

Shake until frothy, and pour into your glass.

Pairs nicely with a cigar.

*Please note that the drinks in this series do not necessarily reflect the political views of PBAndAwesome.com or its staff.

12 Drinks of Christmas: Baby New Year

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

The year is wrapping up today, and with it the 12 Drinks of Christmas.  And what better way to ring in the new year than with a drink themed around Baby New Year himself: Happy.

Drink 12: Baby New Year

• 2 oz Popov Vodka
• 1 oz DeKuyper Coffee Brandy
• 1 oz Baby Formula (From a free sample pack)

Start by preparing the formula in a bottle as per the directions.

Put in some crushed ice, and pour in the vodka and brandy.

Drink from the bottle to nurse away all of your bad memories of the previous year,

12 Drinks of Christmas: The Miser Brothers

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Christmas is tomorrow, but we're still plowing through our 12 Drinks of Christmas through the end of the year!  A lot of people celebrate Christmas between now and New Year's Eve, so it still works.

Anyway, we have a two-fer today with the inspiration for our drinks being the Miser Brothers.

Drink 8: Heat Miser

• 1 oz El Matador Tequila
• 1 oz DeKuyper Cactus Juice
• Tabasco Sauce

Mix the tequila and cactus juice and pour into a shot glass.  Add in a dash of Tobasco.

Set off to the side and prepare the next drink.

Drink 9: Snow Miser

• 1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
• Whipped Cream
• Crushed Ice

First pour the peppermint schnapps into the shot glass.

Next you will want to get out your Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine and crush up some ice.

After your arm feels like it is going to fall off from all of the cranking, you should have enough to fill the shot glass the rest of the way.

Add whipped cream to the top, and shoot it back.

Shoot the Heat Miser, and immediately chase it with the Snow Miser.

12 Drinks of Christmas: The Red Nose

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

With Christmas on the horizon, we thought it would be a good time to start unveiling our new 12 Drinks of Christmas.  Between now and December 25, we will be unveiling our holiday-themed beverages (named after holiday characters) like some sort of twisted Advent Calendar.

Today's drink is themed around the most famous reindeer of all: Rudolph

Drink 4: The Red Nose

• 2 oz Heaven Hill Whiskey
• 2 oz DeKuyper Amaretto
• 1 Queen Anne Chocolate Cordial Cherry
• Ice

Put the ice, whiskey, and amaretto in a cocktail shaker, and shake vigorously and make airplane noises for thirty seconds.

Keeping the ice in the shaker, pour the drink into a glass.

Open the chocolate shell on the cherry, and put the cherry in the drink.

Drinking too many of these may impair your judgement.  You might think you're leaving the party with a very cude doe, only to wake up in the morning with an abominable snow monster.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Almond Flümgorp

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Almond Flümgorp

• 2 oz. DeKuyper Amaretto
• 2 oz. Crystal Palace Vodka
• 1 Maraschino Cherry

You must use a glass for this drink, as it will melt both styrofoam and plastic cups.  While talking in your best Swedish Chef voice, pour the amaretto in a glass and drop in the cherry.  Quickly add the Crystal Palace, and try to avoid skin contact.

Do not underestimate this drink.  If you do, the Crystal Palace could blind you before you know what happened.  Then it will ransack your house, steal your car, and drop you off in someone's backyard, leaving you to wake up on a random trampoline trying to figure out what happened.  After you start to come out of the haze, you will experience something akin to the Hangover movies, but not as funny, and with a lot more police involvement.

The inspiration for the name comes from this article about reading stuff.  Go read it.