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Thursday, January 31, 2019

New Oreo Reviews: Carrot Cake, The Most Stuf, and Love


I have a real problem when it comes to Oreo and Pop-Tarts.  Any time they make a new flavor, no matter what that flavor is, I have to try it.  It isn't a want, it's a need.  Some primal urge wells up inside me, and it won't be satisfied until I have found and tasted whatever new concoctions they have thrust upon the world.  It doesn't matter how many times I have found a flavor to be unsatisfying, the need still arises every time.

Two new flavors—and one special version of the classic—have surfaced, and that means it is once again time for me to see what the mad scientists at Nabisco have created.

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Kitty Cleans Up

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 28, 2008)

Kitty Cleans Up is a short—narrated by what sounds like the same middle-aged woman who was dubbed over Debbie in Manos—about a girl who is getting herself and her cat ready for a Pet Show at school.  If that isn't incentive to watch a Short, I don't know what else would be.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Each Child is Different

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 24, 2008)

Robert is not the same as Ruth or Mark.  Robert builds model airplanes and doesn't read well.  Ruth has no mom and has to raise her baby brother George.  Mark takes and develops his own pictures.  What does this mean?  It means that today's Short is Each Child is Different, a short film for teachers to let them know that, well, each child is different.  Because people need this explained to them.

Friday, January 25, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: It Must Be The Neighbors

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 21, 2008)

Is your yard infested with rats or roaches?  It's not your fault, it's that dirty idiotic jerkhead who lives next to you!

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Farm Animals

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released January 23, 2009)

Have you ever seen a farm before?  How about a horse or cow?  If you somehow answered "no" to either, today's new release of Farm Animals might be the Short for you!

Monday, January 21, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: The Trouble With Women

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 17, 2008)

The Trouble With Women is a Short made to show how the trouble with women is actually men who think women are trouble. Try saying that three times fast.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Right or Wrong

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 14, 2008)

How is your moral compass?  Right or Wrong aims to teach us how to judge other people's actions.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Buying Food

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 10, 2008)

Do you know how to buy food?  Do you stop at the store for something for your wife to make you for dinner and end up with stuff that you don't really like?  If you answered yes to either of these, Buying Food is the Short for you!

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Skipper Learns a Lesson

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 7, 2008)

It's our first Encyclopedia Britannica short!  Much like Coronet (and ACIm which we haven't been introduced to yet), a decent amount of the RiffTrax Shorts catalog is composed of Encyclopedia Britannica shorts.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Patriotism

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short almost every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released July 2, 2008)

Planting trees, setting the table, and sharing baseball gloves.  Patriotism is like that.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Down and Out

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released June 30, 2008)

Safety shorts are my favorite genre of Shorts.  The over-exaggerating is like watching the precursor to modern infomercials.  Down and Out has over-exaggerating in spades, and that's part of why I enjoy this riff so much.

Monday, January 14, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Drugs Are Like That

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released June 16, 2008)

This is what could best be described as "an effort" in making a anti-drug Short.  They compare using drugs to taking away a baby's pacifier, a grown man playing a kid's game, and building models with LEGO bricks.

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: One Got Fat

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released April 17, 2008)

Ready for a dose of nightmare fuel?  You better be if you want to watch this Short!  Think I'm over-exaggerating?


See what I mean?

Friday, January 11, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: If Mirrors Could Speak

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released April 10, 2008)

Clowns are terrifying(just look at Whizzo), and this short focuses on three.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Are You Popular?

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(released April 2, 2008)

Are you popular?  Do you even know why you aren't?

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Safety - Harm Hides at Home

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released March 27, 2008)

Take someone a part-time architect/school grossing guard and give her alien super powers.  Sounds like it should be the beginning of a decent super hero TV show.  Instead we get Guardiana (a.k.a. Safety Woman), she has a shiny jumpsuit and a red trashcan lid.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Coffeehouse Rendezvous

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!


(Released March 12, 2008)

You know what people associate with coffee houses?  Coffee.

That's the kind of wisdom this short imparts.  It's also apparently a good idea to convert the basement in your house to a coffee house for the local high school students.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Why Doesn't Cathy Eat Breakfast? / Petaluma Chicken

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!


(Released March 6, 2008)

This RiffTrax Short is special for multiple reasons—the most obvious being the fact that this is actually two shorts together.

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: The Terrible Truth

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released February 27, 2008)

Dope.  The great Communist plot to take down Amedica.  And America.

This short is all about the terrible truth that the commies want to turn our nation's youth into marijuana users, because then they will turn to heroin, which in turn will lead to a life of crime(because that's how you pay for your H).

Friday, January 4, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Lunchroom Manners

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released February 21, 2008)

Mister Bungle.  He's filthy.  He's rude.  He's messy.  He's killed twelve men.  

Okay, maybe that last one isn't true(we really don't know).  No one likes him, and no one wants to be like him.  Especially not Phil.  Phil makes sure his hands are nice and clean(the kid uses half of the soap in the dispenser), and his buzz cut is all in place before he eats the piece of cake as big as his head and drinks two different kinds of milk.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: Act Your Age

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the actual reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!

(Released January 31, 2008)

Today's Short is all about Emotional Maturity.  Young Jim gets in trouble after carving his initials into his desk with his mechanical pencil.  This leads to a discussion with his principal about infantile reactions(according to the principal, people who aren't emotionally mature act like five year olds).

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts: A Visit to Santa

It's Short Reviews of RiffTrax Shorts, our new series where the title is almost as long as the reviews!  We are going to take a look at a RiffTrax Short every day this year, until we run out of shorts.  That will get us through the majority of the year, so strap in for madness!
  
(Released December 19, 2007)

Our first short is technically the second to be released by RiffTrax, but most consider this the start of the RiffTrax Shorts era.  So, rather than start with Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey (released December 17, 2006), I decided to start with A Visit to Santa.