Bottom Shelf Mixology: Moon In Retrograde

Welcome to The Bottom Shelf™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Moon In Retrograde (Blue Moon)

• 1 1/4 oz Five O'Clock Gin
• 1/2 oz Blue Curacao 
• 1 1/2 oz Blue Moon ice cream (melted)
• 3 oz syrup from store brand canned pineapple 
• Ice

Stir your pineapple syrup and melted ice cream together in your glass.  Add the gin and curacao to your shaker with some ice and gently shake for seven seconds.

Strain from the shaker into the glass and stir together until well mixed.

You should probably drink these less than once in a blue moon.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Malortini

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Malortini (a.k.a. Dumpster Juice)

• 2 oz Five O'Clock Gin
• .5 oz Malort
• .5 oz Olive Juice
• 1 Olive
• 1 can Store Brand Spray American Cheese
• Ice

First, you want to take the pimento out of your olive, and then insert the nozzle of the spray cheese can, and slowly fill it.  If you do it too quickly, you will end up with an olive flying across the room.  Put the cheese product filled olive in your glass.

With some ice in your shaker, add in the gin, Malort, and olive juice.  Shake vigorously for fifteen seconds.

Strain it into your glass, try out your best (or worse) Sean Connery impersonation, and then slam it down.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Vom Collins

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Vom Collins

• 2 oz Fleischmann's Gin
• 3 Tbsp Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
• 1 tsp Light Corn Syrup
• Seltzer Water
• Lemon Hard Candy Stick
• 1 Queen Anne Chocolate Cordial Cherry (just the cherry from the inside)
• Ice

Start by putting the gin, powdered lemonade drink mix, and corn syrup in your shaker with some ice, and shake until the ingredients are well mixed.

Strain it into a tall glass, and top it off with the seltzer water.  Garnish with the candy stick and the cherry from the chocolate covered cherry.

Drink while listening to your favorite Phil Collins song, and eventually you will be able to feel it coming in the air.

Oh Lord.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Episode 5: Bern Down For What

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

This is the second of our 2016 Presidential Candidate Drinks after Mr. Sanders Fudge himself. Will Princess Bernie lead us through the woods or will the Bottom Shelf Crew get trapped in the brush?

Yes, we know he's effectively done running, but we still wanted to do the drink.  Mostly because we had it planned out before the California Primary.

You can check out the recipe here if you are daring enough.

This is Sherry (Linksliltri4ce) from The Legend of Cosplay signing off for PB&Awesome.

Until next time: Hut!  HYAAA!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Bern Down for What

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

As part of our celebration of Three Years on the Bottom Shelf, our staff of mixologists have started imagining some drinks for the only people we see on TV more than the Kardashians: Presidential Candidates*.

Our third and final drink in the series is based around the long shot that reminds everyone of their quite possibly crazy uncle.

Bern Down for What (Old Vermont)

• 1 1/2 oz Brigadier Gin
• 1/4 oz Lemonade
• 1/4 oz Diet Orange Soda
• 1/2 oz Store Brand Lite Butter Flavored Syrup
• 2 dashes Bitters
• Ice

Pour everything into your shaker, and vigorously shake for thirty seconds.

Strain the drink into your glass (if you are having a party, strain equal parts of the drink into a shot glass for everyone).

This drink is sure to make you feel the burn, in both your gut and your colon.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejects: Bad Movies, Worse Drinks Pt. 1

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Lately, I have been watching gobs of RiffTrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes.  I started thinking about the potential of making some BSM recipes themed around some of these movies and shorts that I have been watching.  Then I realized that these films didn't deserve drinkable recipes.  These films are rejects, and deserve drinks that are down on their level.

Welcome to part one of Bad Movies, Worse Drinks.

12 Drinks of Christmas: Drunk Actually

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Christmas is in less than a week, and our twisted advent calendar is going to pick up the pace a bit (thanks to falling behind due to Star Wars and the general business of the season).

Our sixth drink is named after a Christmas based British romantic comedy: Love Actually.

Drink 6: Drunk Actually

• 1 bag Aldi Diplomat Earl Grey Tea
• 6 oz Robinson's Lemon Barley Water
• 2 oz Beefeater Gin 

Start by heating the lemon barley water.  Brew the tea in the barley water as per directions.

After brewing the tea, stir in the gin and serve warm.

This goes perfect with some spotted dick!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Three Mile Island Iced Tea

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Three Mile Island Iced Tea

• 1 oz. Crystal Palace Vodka
• 1 oz. Brigadier Gin
• 1 oz. DeKuyper Triple Sec
• 1 oz. Barton Light Rum
• 1 oz. El Matador Tequila
• 2 oz. Store Brand Cola
• 2 Tbsp.  Lemonade Drink Mix

Mix the vodka, gin, rum, cola, tequila, and triple sec together.  Stir in the two tablespoons of lemonade mix.  Serve in highball glasses.

Drink, and try to prepare for the meltdown in your colon.