Bottom Shelf Mixology: The Bane

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

The Bane (Paralyzer)

• 1 oz Crown Russe Vodka
• 1 oz Rio Grande Tequila
• 1/2 oz Sabroso Coffee Liqueur
• 2 oz Store Brand Diet Cola
• 4 Coffee Creamers
• Ice

Start with ice in your shaker.  Pour in the vodka, tequila, and coffee liqueur.  Shake.

Add in the cola, and pour into a tall glass.  Add in the creamer, and stir.

Drink these until you can't walk, or you feel the sudden urge to break some bats.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Episode 13: Holy S'Mole

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

This week's terrible idea: trying out the Holy S'Mole.  We had to chew it.  It was the opposite of delicious.


Check out the recipe for the Holy S'Mole.

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Bottom Shelf Mixology Episode 9: Bootleg Firecracker

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?

We get what we deserve.  Watch the Bottom Shelf Crew regret every decision they've ever made joining the gang.  Ugh...

You can find the recipe for the Bootleg Firecracker here.

Also, don't forget to head on over to Patreon and become one of our sponsors! 

This is Sherry (Linksliltri4ce) from The Legend of Cosplay signing off for PB&Awesome.

Until next time: Hut!  HYAAA!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Wine-A-Rita

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Wine-A-Rita

• 3 oz El Matador Blanco Tequila
• 3 oz Master of Mixes Lite Margarita Mix
• 2 oz Manischewitz Wine
• Koser Salt
• Ice

Put your ice, tequila, and margarita mix into your cocktail shaker and shake vigorously.

Rim your glass with the kosher salt, and pour in the contents of the shaker.  Add in the wine and gently stir.

It's the perfect drink for Cinco de Mayo!

12 Drinks of Christmas: The Miser Brothers

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Christmas is tomorrow, but we're still plowing through our 12 Drinks of Christmas through the end of the year!  A lot of people celebrate Christmas between now and New Year's Eve, so it still works.

Anyway, we have a two-fer today with the inspiration for our drinks being the Miser Brothers.

Drink 8: Heat Miser

• 1 oz El Matador Tequila
• 1 oz DeKuyper Cactus Juice
• Tabasco Sauce

Mix the tequila and cactus juice and pour into a shot glass.  Add in a dash of Tobasco.

Set off to the side and prepare the next drink.

Drink 9: Snow Miser

• 1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
• Whipped Cream
• Crushed Ice

First pour the peppermint schnapps into the shot glass.

Next you will want to get out your Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine and crush up some ice.

After your arm feels like it is going to fall off from all of the cranking, you should have enough to fill the shot glass the rest of the way.

Add whipped cream to the top, and shoot it back.

Shoot the Heat Miser, and immediately chase it with the Snow Miser.

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: AFC South

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Week five of the NFL season starts tonight, and that means it is also time for part five of our eight part series of Rejected NFL Drinks.  We've been making nasty rejected drink for each team in the league and posting a division at a time.

Today, we've got our drinks for the AFC South.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Rejected Labor Day Drinks

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

It's Labor Day weekend, and for many people, that means the unofficial end of Summer!  We tried to come up with a drink recipe that you could serve to guests at your big barbecue this weekend, but everything we came up with was extra terrible.  So, we decided to make a new list of rejected drinks.  It was also suggested by multiple people on Twitter to go route of "labor as in giving birth." 

We are proud(?) to now present our four Rejected Labor Day Drinks!  Be warned, one of these is exceptionally nasty.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Holy S'Mole

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Holy S'Mole

• 2 oz Mole Sauce (Store Bought)
• 2 oz El Matador Tequila
• 1 Tsp. Marshmallow Topping
• Gluten Free Graham Cracker, Crushed

Start by mixing the mole and tequila in a shaker.  After you pour this into a glass, add the teaspoon of marshmallow topping.

Top the drink with the crushed graham cracker.

This is a great drink to celebrate National S'mores Day, or any time you want to satisfy your sweet tooth with authentic Mexican flair!

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Bootleg Firecracker

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

The Bootleg Firecracker

• 1.5 oz Fireball Whiskey
• 1.5 oz After Shock
• 1.5 oz El Matador Tequila
• Red Pepper Flakes (the kind you get with delivery pizza)
• 1 strand Cinnamon Dental Floss

Start with a pinch of red pepper flakes in your glass.  Add the After Shock, tequila, and cinnamon whiskey.  Stir.

For your "fuse", garnish with the dental floss hanging halfway out of the glass.

Drink while watching people in your neighborhood almost kill themselves with their fireworks, and prepare yourself to feel some fireworks of your own in the morning.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: La Recasa De Mayo

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

La Recasa De Mayo (The Hangover of May)

• 6 oz El Matador Tequila
• 12 oz Tamarindo Soda
• 12 oz Corona Light
• Ice
• Culantro (like cilantro, but worse.)

You're going to need a pitcher for this drink, which is sure to become a new Cinco De Mayo tradition!  Put your ice in the pitcher, and add in the tequila.  Then simultaneously pour in the tamarindo soda and Corona Light.  It is crucial that these are poured in at the same time!*  Also, make sure you don't stir this up.** 

When you pour this into a small glass, throw in a handful of culantro.

Drink to celebrate El Día de la Batalla de Puebla, and get a guaranteed hangover for Seis De Mayo!


*This doesn't really matter.
**Really, it doesn't.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Three Mile Island Iced Tea

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Three Mile Island Iced Tea

• 1 oz. Crystal Palace Vodka
• 1 oz. Brigadier Gin
• 1 oz. DeKuyper Triple Sec
• 1 oz. Barton Light Rum
• 1 oz. El Matador Tequila
• 2 oz. Store Brand Cola
• 2 Tbsp.  Lemonade Drink Mix

Mix the vodka, gin, rum, cola, tequila, and triple sec together.  Stir in the two tablespoons of lemonade mix.  Serve in highball glasses.

Drink, and try to prepare for the meltdown in your colon.