Bottom Shelf Mixology: Love Dump

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Love Dump

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Vodka
• 1 oz DeKuyper Hazelnut Schnapps
• 1/8 tsp Imitation Vanilla
• 1 Fit & Active Lemonade Drink Mix Stick

Put a few cubes of ice in your shakes, and pour in the vodka and hazelnut schnapps.  Shake slowly for 13 seconds.

Open the shaker and add in the imitation vanilla.  Without shaking the mixture further, strain it out into your cup.

Shoot it back, and then eat some of the lemonade mix straight out of the tube like Pixy Stix.

The original drink is supposed to taste like chocolate cake.  This version will most likely not.  It will probably taste more like what the song Love Dump (Static-X) is about.

Bit of trivia for you:  WCW Tag Team Kronik used a version of Love Dump for their intro music.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Vom Collins

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Vom Collins

• 2 oz Fleischmann's Gin
• 3 Tbsp Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
• 1 tsp Light Corn Syrup
• Seltzer Water
• Lemon Hard Candy Stick
• 1 Queen Anne Chocolate Cordial Cherry (just the cherry from the inside)
• Ice

Start by putting the gin, powdered lemonade drink mix, and corn syrup in your shaker with some ice, and shake until the ingredients are well mixed.

Strain it into a tall glass, and top it off with the seltzer water.  Garnish with the candy stick and the cherry from the chocolate covered cherry.

Drink while listening to your favorite Phil Collins song, and eventually you will be able to feel it coming in the air.

Oh Lord.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Paradise Lost

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Paradise Lost (Paradise Mix)

• 1 oz. Crystal Palace Vodka
• 1 oz. Mr. Boston Blue Curaçao
• 1 oz. Kinky Gold
• 1 oz. Malibu Pineapple Rum
• 1 packet McDonald's Sweet And Sour Sauce
• 1 tsp. Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
• Wint O Green Lifesavers
• Ice

Start off by adding the sweet and sour sauce to your glass.  Stir in the vodka.  Next add in the ice.  Next does the Rum, Kinky Gold, and the blue curaçao.

For the finishing touch, plunk in a handful of Wint O Green Lifesavers.

If you drink enough of these, prepare to pay the price!

For still they knew, and ought to have still remember'd
The high Injunction not to taste that Fruit,
Whoever tempted; which they not obeying,
Incurr'd, what could they less, the penaltie,
And manifold in sin, deserv'd to fall.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Hot Punch in the Mouth

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  
 

Hot Punch in the Mouth

• 32 oz Cran-apple Juice Cocktail
• 1 Tbsp Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
• 4 Cloves
• 6 Hot Tamales Candies
• 1/4 cup Brown Sugar
• 1 cup Franzia Chillable Red Wine

Combine everything but the wine in a large microwave safe bowl.  Cover it, and microwave it on High for two minutes.  Stir it, and put it back in on High for another two minutes.

Add in the wine, and, you guessed it, back on High for two more minutes.

As soon as the microwave stops, pull your bowl out, and serve this piping hot punch!

This drink is another wonderful addition to the holiday season, especially for those adults who have to sit at the kids table when you run out of seats at the adult table because your cousin Alex brought his new girlfriend Marlene and her two adult sons without informing the rest of the family first, and they get to sit at the adult table because they are guests.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Anise Pucker

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

This month, we are going to bring you some brand new Bottom Shelf Mixology recipes!  In fact, we are going to do at least ten.

Here is recipe number two.

Anise Pucker

• 1 oz Athena Ouzo
• 1 oz Green Apple Pucker
• 1/4 tsp Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
• 1/4 tsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• Ice

Mix the ouzo, Pucker, powdered lemonade drink mix, and ice in your shaker.  Strain into your glass.

Add in the EVOO.

You can enjoy this drink, even if you are a xeno. A xeno with big, long hair on top of his head!

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejects: Bad Movies, Worse Drinks Pt. 1

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Lately, I have been watching gobs of RiffTrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes.  I started thinking about the potential of making some BSM recipes themed around some of these movies and shorts that I have been watching.  Then I realized that these films didn't deserve drinkable recipes.  These films are rejects, and deserve drinks that are down on their level.

Welcome to part one of Bad Movies, Worse Drinks.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: The Muffin Top

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

The Muffin Top

• 8 oz. Barton Rum
• 1 Otis Spunkmeyer Blueberry Muffin
• 1 20 oz. Generic Store Brand Ginger Ale
• 1 Tsp. Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix

Cut the top off of the muffin, set aside.

Mix the bottom half of the muffin and the remaining ingredients in a blender.  Poor into a glass.

Cut a hole in the top so that it fits around the mouth of the glass.

This is the perfect drink to welcome in Spring!