Friday, October 30, 2015

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: NFC West

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Here we are, in Week 8 of the NFL season, and with our final group of Rejected NFL Drinks.  This was a surprisingly large undertaking for us, and it is something that I hope to never do again.  

Join us now as we take on our final division: the NFC West.

San Francisco 49ers

  • 4 oz Goldschl├Ąger
  • 1 cup Rice-A-Roni (Cooked)
To truly make a San Francisco Treat, take one cup of the cooked rice side dish, and mix in four ounces of Goldschl├Ąger.

Choke this down while trying to choke down how your team is playing this season.

St. Louis Rams

  • 1 oz Provel Cheese
  • 1 packet Saltine Crackers
  • 3 oz Popov Vodka
  • Oregano
Start by microwaving the processed cheese for ten seconds (it's almost melty at room temperature, so it doesn't take much).  Mix in the vodka.  Add a pinch of oregano.

Finish off with crushed up saltine crackers.

After a few of these, you'll be throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care, and not for the other reason.

Arizona Cardinals

  • 2 oz Brigadier Dry Gin
  • 4 oz Aloe Juice
  • 1/8 tsp Chili Powder
  • Sand
Mix the gin and juice.  Add in the chili powder.

Finish the drink with a touch of sand.

Once you've knocked back a few of these, you might be able to help Arizona in its continuing quest to out-Florida Florida.

Seattle Seahawks

  • 1 tsp Taster's Choice Coffee
  • 6 oz Rain Water
  • 2 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
  • 1 package Skittles
First, open the candy and set it aside.

Stick a travel mug outside for a few minutes, until you have gathered up about six ounces of rain water.  If your travel mug is not metal, stick it in the microwave to heat the water.  Otherwise, find a different vessel to use while warming the water.

Mix in the instant coffee, and after that is dissolved add in the whiskey.

Go walk fifty feet down to the nearest Starbucks, and throw the candy at people while drinking.  This is to remind everyone about the worst play call in Super Bowl history.

And that wraps up our eight week long series on Rejected NFL Drinks!  If you missed any of the previous entries, they are all listed below for your reading pleasure.