Bottom Shelf Mixology: The Glaive

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

In honor of RiffTrax Live: Krull, I have created a brand new BS Mixology recipe: The Glaive!

The Glaive is based on a drink recipe I found called 5 Keys.  Because, you see, the Glaive in Krull has five blades, and it will probably make your insides feel like they were sliced up by a bunch of blades... you guys get where I'm going with this.

The Glaive (5 Keys)

• 1 oz Fleischmann's Whiskey
• 1/2 oz Balsamic Vinegar
• 1/4 oz Angostura Bitters
• 1/4 oz Maraschino Cherry Liquid
• 1 Maraschino Cherry

To assemble The Glaive, simply pour the four liquid ingredients into your shaker.

Pour from the shaker into your glass, and add the final ingredient: the maraschino cherry!

Whatever you do, do not try to sneak this into the theater before seeing RiffTrax Live: Krull.  That would be a very bad idea.

You should, however, drink a few of these if you ever watch Krull un-riffed.  You may remember this movie being cool, awesome, or even radical from when you watched it as a kid, but it's really not any of those three things.

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Almond Flümgorp

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology™!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Almond Flümgorp

• 2 oz. DeKuyper Amaretto
• 2 oz. Crystal Palace Vodka
• 1 Maraschino Cherry

You must use a glass for this drink, as it will melt both styrofoam and plastic cups.  While talking in your best Swedish Chef voice, pour the amaretto in a glass and drop in the cherry.  Quickly add the Crystal Palace, and try to avoid skin contact.

Do not underestimate this drink.  If you do, the Crystal Palace could blind you before you know what happened.  Then it will ransack your house, steal your car, and drop you off in someone's backyard, leaving you to wake up on a random trampoline trying to figure out what happened.  After you start to come out of the haze, you will experience something akin to the Hangover movies, but not as funny, and with a lot more police involvement.

The inspiration for the name comes from this article about reading stuff.  Go read it.