Monday, September 2, 2013

The Bottom Shelf: Ten High

Hello! We have a little something different today from Bottom Shelf Russ. Some everyday observations while sampling Ten High whiskey.

The Bottom Shelf With Russ: Ten High Whiskey

The first part of today's post is a little bit on the serious side.  Just so you know.

I fixed myself the usual Diet Pepsi and bottom shelf whiskey and settle in to watch some TV.  Everthing seemed okay until the late night news came on. My gentle whiskey buzz  quickly went away as pictures of young children, writhing in agony, were thrust onto the screen.  As I watched in horror, I realized that these were pictures of Syria's chemical war on their own people.  Being the grandpa of a six year old little girl, this hit me extra hard.  How would I feel if this were my granddaughter screaming in pain and flinching with involuntary spasms from nerve gas?  Tears streamed down my cheeks.  Anger, sorrow, and disbelief filled me.  No amount of booze could blunt my feelings.  Indeed, it probably increased them.  I made up my mind at that moment that  today's column would reflect my anger that grown adults could do this to children. What I write here will never change anything in the world, but would help me to vent and release some pressure.  Writing a sarcastic tongue-in-cheek blog about cheap bottom shelf whiskey is a fun self indulgent distraction from the real world.  Just now the real world is not a kind place.  It is almost too much to believe.  I have a somewhat liberal view of the world, one that makes me think that mankind is basically good with a bright future and not a pessimistic bent.  However, I have one quote that comes to mind: "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." - Edmund Burke.

I don't know what is to be done about the Syrian regimes chemical warfare on its own people, but eventually it will fall and there will then be a day of reckoning for the guilty parties.  I would like to send a bottle of Fleischmanns best to their king Assad and his "let them eat cake" bitch of a wife. They can choke on the Putrid Poisoner.

Click to enlarge. Trust me.
In the mean time Bottom Shelf Russ will still be rating rot gut crappy whiskey.  Right now I still have the taste of Ten high Kentucky whiskey on my breath.  It gave me a flashback to the time I used the Porta Potty on a golf course first thing on a Monday morning.  It was still full up from a weekend tournament, and looked like Big Foot left a yule log the size of a Cadillac on the semi solid floating mass the night before.  What a stinker! That is Ten High summed up.

Ya know folks, the real truth is that most of the bottom shelf whiskeys are all about the same.  Note to tobacco chewers: One full shot of whiskey will fit nicely into the contents of one Skoal (et al) can.

With an interesting name, Ten High is said to be named after either the poker hand or a ten high barrel stack (Said to give faster maturing.  Probably 2 or 3 days).

Cost: 4 - Reasonable $7.50 a fifth, but it is only found at liquor stores that have bars in their doors and windows, and two inch plexiglas at the cashier window.

Mixability: 3  - Good for the usual stuff, but not for pre-sex prepping.  It gives real butt breath.

Effects: 4 - You will need extra toilet paper for a smooth, clean finish. Use a flushable wipe for best results.

Taste: 2 - Long lasting and lingering, like Soylent Green.  Ten High nickname is Virulent Stain.  One that won't come out in the wash.  Keep it in the freezer, that helps a little.  

Packaging: Unrated, who cares - I think it was a glass bottle. 

As I said, Labor Day is here, so lets celebrate the hard working men and women of America! You are the backbone of the country.  This week I will raise a glass to you (with cheap booze of course).  Don't drink and drive, and give your kids a big hug.

Just one more quick note:  This was originally to be two separate posts but I thought the first part was a bit too heavy. I needed to lighten it up a little.  So just like cheap whiskey, I blended them. Our next review will be on Windsor Canadian blended sewer water.

Here's looking up yours from Bottom Shelf Russ!

You can read the other entries from The Bottom Shelf With Russ here: 

THE Northern Lights
Canada (Out)House
Canadian LTD
G&W Five Star