Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Bottom Shelf: THE Northern Lights

The Bottom Shelf With Russ: The Northern Lights Whiskey

Welcome back to The Bottom Shelf With Russ.  This week, I will be examining another bottom shelf whiskey: THE Northern Lights.

I was anticipating disappointment and got it right away, because The Northern Lights comes in a plastic bottle. However, the price was right, at about the same as Fleischmann's(my previous review).

Mixing-up a nice strong drink of Diet Pepsi and this cheap blended Canadian whiskey, I pinched my nose and took a big glug. Quick, queue up the birds tweeting in spring and the angels playing their harps on a cloud; this stuff is GOOD!  Pressing on fearlessly, I gulped again.  Disbelief and a pleasant surprise, The Northern Lights is looking like the crème de la crap, a regular bum's Valhalla.

The Bottom Shelf With Russ: The Northern Lights Whiskey

Its smooth finish is that of a much more expensive whiskey.  It even managed to take the bad taste out of my mouth left over from the gut wrenching, putrid tasting, hang over inducing, explosive diarhea producing, throw-up in my mouth Fleischmann's.

Still, this is sadly not a sipping whiskey.  It is more suitable for whiskey and 7-Up punchbowls at cheapo wedding receptions or saturday night poker games with ten cent raise limits, stale pretzels, and PBR on tap.

Taste: 4 - A very nice high quality from low places flavor.  Best served with dumpster divings such as half eaten chicken club sandwiches.

Cost: 5 - Lowest price, can only be beaten by a one dollar gallon of eighty proof after shave from a dollar store(bottom shelf of course).

Packaging: 1 - It is in a plastic bottle, the same as a cheap mouthwash.  Who wants to pass a plastic bottle around to their friends?  No class.

Effects: 3 - Anice after glow, no need to violently brush your teeth or scrape your tongue.

Mixability: It is mild - no kidding! It mixes great.

Final comments: The Northern Lights is the real deal, and well worth the 6 bucks.  It sets new standards for the bottom shelf . Get ya some!!

This just in: a new drink recipe for Fleischmann's. One part Fleischmann's and One part prune juice.  We call it the Fleischmann's Flameout.  Caution: do not take lest than a half hour before bedtime!

Next week, I will be taking a look at Canada House.

Here's looking up yours, from Bottom Shelf Russ!