Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The Bottom Shelf: Beam's Eight Star Whiskey

Welcome back to the Bottom Shelf with Russ!  Today, we are looking as Beam's Eight Star.

Halloween movies, tricks and treats, and cheap bottom shelf whiskey, it doesn't get any better.  The whiskey this time is Beam's Eight Star whiskey and it fits perfectly with all horror flicks. It works especially with older monster flicks. You know, the ones where the car won't start and the creepy guy is coming, even though the car is brand new and has never failed to start before.  They always forget to finish him off when they have their chance, too.

Mixing a drink of the Beam's Eight Star hootch, I settle into my recliner. I put on my set of favorite VHS horror flicks: the Hammer film productions monster movies.

If you are not familiar with Hammer films, let me enlighten you. Hammer horror films became very popular in the mid 1950s to the late 1970s. They were ground breakers for all thriller, horror, and monster flicks that followed.  One reason was that they took full advantage of colorization of most films,which up to that point was very expensive to use.  Hammer accentuated the red blood and gore to the max.  The camera angles and techniques were to be used by all great movie directors horror and otherwise for years to come.  Utilizing the same small group of actors over and over, they produced several dozen popular and ground breaking movies. Such films as The Curse of Frankenstein, Brides of Dracula, Curse of The Werewolf (smells like wet dog), Horror of Dracula, Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed, Dracula Has Risen From The Grave, The Evil of Frankenstein (my fav), The Plague of The Zombies (a precursor of The Night of The Living Dead), The Gorgon (a mythological stoner), The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyl (featuring a handsome and sexy Mr.Hyde), and The Abomanable Snowman.  Those just some, as they seemed to make a movie a year.

This was all done in Bray Studios England.  All of them were close to being x-rated for violence and sex.  Yes, most of them were period pieces with lusty, busty women and frisky gentlemen.  Hammer even produced three lesbian vampire movies, but those were not immediately released in the states.

Let's try our drink and get Hammered(sorry!).  While having Beams Eight Star, I found myself wondering what brand of whiskey each type of Hallowen character would like. I think Frankenstein and his lovely bride would opt for R & R so they could bear to look at each other.  The Invisible man guzzles The Northern Lights.  Word has it that the Wolfman's mother was an insatiable booze hound and his father was a leg humping necrophiliac.  The Mummy staggers into the party store regularly to get Ten High whiskey and several rolls of gauze.. Leprechauns sip G & W Five Star.  Zombies can't march past any liquor store without snatching a bottle of Canadian (out)House, usually while on their way to all you can eat buffets. Most ghost get sheet faced on Beam's Eight Star. Finally, Dracula drinks Fleischmann's, the putrid poisoner.  Cause they both suck.

Lets get to the ratings!

Taste: 3 - Nothing special, but you will need to brush your teeth and scrape your tongue later.

Mixability: 4 - Eating sweet snacks between drinks helps.

Effects: 3 - You are getting sleeeeeppy.

Cost: 4 - Any cheaper and it would show up on discount table at dollar store.

Packaging: 2 - Crappy plastic bottle shaped like a back pocket container.

Our next review will be the last one in this series(did I hear cheering?).  It will be the infamous Imperial whiskey!  Once more I will destroy brain cells in the name of humanity.

Until then, I wish you a safe and happy Halloween!

Here's looking up yours from Bottom Shelf Russ!

You can read the other entries from The Bottom Shelf With Russ here: 

THE Northern Lights
Canada (Out)House
Canadian LTD
G&W Five Star
Ten High
Windsor Canadian