Thursday, September 10, 2015

Bottom Shelf Mixology Rejected NFL Drinks: AFC East

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology!  Our staff of Mixologists have racked their brains (and livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  

Welcome to the first of our new eight part series of NFL rejected drinks.  We are going to have a rejected drink for every team in the league, and we're going to go through a division at a time. 

Tonight, it's the AFC East.

Miami Dolphins

A.K.A. Tuna-tini
  • 1 oz Tuna Can Water
  • 2 oz Beefeater Gin
  • 1 Cocktail Onion
Mix the water from a can of tuna and the gin, pour into your martini glass.

Garnish with Cocktail Onion.  

Wait for Suh to kill someone.

New York Jets

A.K.A. The Buttfumble
  • 2 pieces Ex-Lax Chocolate
  • 2 oz Heaven Hill Whiskey
Melt the Ex-Lax in the microwave.  Mix in the whiskey.  Drink, and wait for your body to give you a preview of the season the Jets are going to have this year.

New England Patriots

A.K.A. The *
  • 1 can Chunky New England Clam Chowder
  • 1 bottle Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat
Warm the soup.  Add in the Cherry Wheat.  Chug.  Continue being an obnoxious fan of a team full of cheaters.

Buffalo Bills

A.K.A. Cassel in the Sky
  • 2 Tbsp Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Wings Sauce
  • 1.5 oz Crystal Palace Vodka
  • 1.5 oz El Matador Tequila
Mix all of the ingredients together, then shoot it down.

The perfect shooter for when you are buried under sixteen feet of snow.

Up next: the NFC East.