Thursday, August 14, 2014

Godzilla '98 Stickers

A few months ago, I found a few sheets of stickers for the stinkfest that is Godzilla (the 1998 version starring Matthew Broderick).  This is also the movie that is getting the RiffTrax treatment in a special live show on August 14 (a.k.a. tomorrow).  I have been wanting to post these for a while, and I figure now is as good a time as any.

There are four types of stickers in this paltry collection.  We've got the big shiny sticker, the movie scene stickers, the little Godzilla stickers, and the text stickers that don't have any consistency.

First up, the shiny sticker.

I love how this one scanned in, because it turned the shiny stuff into a pixelated Autumn scene.  Otherwise, GINO (Godzilla In Name Only) looks as ugly as ever.

Up next, the movie scene stickers.

Now, let's ignore that strange yellow Force Godzilla sticker for now (we'll get to that later), and instead focus on the other five.  Three of them seem like classic Godzilla fare, what with the big head between buildings, the destruction, and the helicopters shooting stuff at GINO.  The other two are indicative of one of the big problems that most people have with this movie: the babies.  Yes, this Godzilla was a mama, and she was just looking for a nice place to lay her eggs.

Looking at this batch of stickers, I can convince myself that these designs would make for a good giant monster movie.  Just not Godzilla.  I love the one where GINO is swimming along, striking a pose, and saying hi to the people in that submarine.  And, of course, we have another version of that big head craning down from nowhere.

Our final set of stickers are the text stickers.

Some of these are neat.  I like their design.  Some are just kind of there, like Tear and Smash.  Then there are the stickers that confuse you.

Like the Godzilla Force and Force Godzilla stickers.

Obviously, Godzilla Force makes sense.  Force Godzilla sounds more like a command shouted out by an evil overlord.  "Sir, Godzilla won't destroy the orphanage."


They come across as very "Don't Dead, Open Inside" to me.

Then there are the stickers with the Zs that look like twos.

Were they just pushing for a sequel?  Or did some designer seriously convince people that they looked like Zs?

And my favorite one (that I just noticed while putting this together):

The kindest looking vicious you could ever possibly find in any media having to do with giant rampaging monsters.

It really is strange that the quality of stickers for a licensed property is indicative of the quality of the property itself, but here we have a rare case of just that.

Now, I must relinquish my stickers to my five year old daughter, who wants to put them in her sticker book with the Disney Princess stickers.