Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Whiskey Games - North Division Round One

Welcome back to The Bottom Shelf - The Whiskey Games!   Today, we turn our attention to Round One of the North Division!

Much like the South Division, the North also has some power house whiskeys.   Famed Whiskey, Canadian (out)House is top seed. They drew a bye, along with R & R whiskey because of their rankings.  Also because we only have 6 teams in the division.

All contests will take place at Lucky Pierre's Roadkill Cafe.  Our first match up is Canadian LTD, still livin' the dream, and home team Windsor Canadian. Canadian LTD is heavily favored, but we all know reputation doesn't necessarily win contests. Canadian LTD can and will destroy stomach linings. Hall of fame hockey player Bobby Orr likes Canadian LTD and is seated court side.  Look who is next to him, none other than Mashed Potato Johnson(not to be confused with Magic Johnson) feeling the pain.  What could Windsor Canadian have to answer that?  Nothing, it is a first round massacre.  LTD moves on as fans scramble to find Pepto-Bismol and Maalox.

The crew here is busy mopping up the court to get ready for the up coming and much anticipated war between THE Northern Lights and relatively unknown McMasters whiskey.  THE Northern Lights realizes it is in for major pain from esophagus to sphincter. Pierre's Roadkill Cafe is heavily buzzed. Fans are dry heaving on McMasters and raccoon à la king(Pierre's special of the day). THE Northern Lights, much like Kessler in the south, is just too good to win. McMasters wins by a wet fart. THE Northern Lights, the groovy gulper, is dispatched.

So, let's take a look at our current North standings after Round One:

Make sure to come back this weekend for Round Two of the South and North Divisions!