Friday, May 31, 2013

The Bottom Shelf: Canada House Whiskey

The Bottom Shelf With Russ: Canada House Whisky

Cheers from The Bottom Shelf With Russ, still rating bottom shelf whiskey the old fashioned way!

First, a recap of what we tried so far: Fleischmann's - the putrid poisoner, and THE Northern Lights - good gulper.

We will now move on to Canada House blended whiskey.  Canada House is not a big surprise, but just a middle of the road bottom shelfer (which is to say: not good).  It did cause a Fleischmann's flashback.  Is it possible to continue these experiments of bottom shelf whiskeys and not create permanent organ damage? Liver be damned, full speed ahead!
Image from mikehulsebus.com

I used my usual mixer of Diet Pepsi with Canada House.  I sampled it while I watched Blazing Saddles on TV.  Great movie with many memorable quotes (it's twoue, it's twoue).  Sadly, Canada House just put me to sleep. You need to understand that I don't just have one sample of our whiskey but always keep sampling until it is gone. Four to six weeks to down a fifth, then make a stupefied judgement.

Canada House whiskey should be used to strip paint and varnish or to degrease motor parts for wrecked autos. Cut this whiskey with lots of water and put it in a spray bottle for its best use: killing weeds in driveway cracks.

Taste: 2 - Strong flavor.  Burns taste buds, numbs sore teeth and gums.

Cost: 4 - Cheap, you can buy a whole fifth for the price of one fancy Starbucks drink!

Packaging: 1 - Plastic bottle again.  However, it does have a nice label.

Effects: 4 - Made me sleepy with bad taste in my mouth upon waking.

Mixability:  Makes everything you mix it with have a lasting bitter after taste.

Final comments: Canada House ad claims "Canada House blended whiskey has notes of butterscotch, heather, honey, and ground ginger.  Creamy with a good flow of toasty wood, almond, and caramel on the palate that leads to a well rounded finish, lingering with the merest whisper of peat." SAY WHAT?  More like hints of turpentine and fuel oil with lingering dry heaves.

Next week, R & R whiskey (Rich and Rare)

Now off to my colonoscopy. Here's looking up yours!  - Bottom Shelf Russ

(Editor's Note: Apparently, whoever bottles and distributes this stuff isn't too proud of that fact, because the only noted company that I could find doesn't have it listed as one of their products anymore, hence the lack of a good image. - Jeremy)