Sunday, December 23, 2012

CSM '12: Santa's Village of Madness

It's December, and only two days until Christmas! I've decided to do a follow up to my surprisingly popular Halloween Movie Madness. Every night through Christmas Eve, I will be watching a different Christmas movie or special and then rambling on about them, sometimes even being coherent!

Santa's Village of Madness

Santa's Village of Madness Rifftrax

Okay people. Forget everything you have seen so far. Forget Santa Claus. Forget Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. This selection of shorts recently released by RiffTrax takes insane Christmas movies to not only a new level, but a new universe full of yet unexplored levels.

Normally, that would be simple hyperbole, but not in this case. How can something with these guys in it be sane?

Santa's Village of Madness Rifftrax

It can't. That is exactly what I am talking about! Now, imagine those characters playing out some very strange scenarios. Brace yourself, I'm going to try to explain some of what happens in these three shorts.

Santa's Village of Madness Rifftrax

It is explained that Santa can traverse the Fifth Dimension, which was found by Merlin. Yes, the wizard from Arthurian legend. It's how Santa can be seen all over the world at the same time. So, there is the explanation to use with your kids when they ask you about all of the Mall Santas. The wolf is in charge of labor. He rules the toy factories with an iron paw. And his theme music is crazy accordion music that, according to Kevin, sounds like accordions having sex. He also has an amazing catch phrase: "Oh, My Ulcer!"  There is also the crazy skunk who gets chided for being lazy and smelling bad. He is first seen trying to eat one of the North Poles.

Santa's Village of Madness Rifftrax

That is only in the first few minutes of this thing.  My brain can't figure out how to explain any more of it without blood running out of my eyes.  Just trust me, and go buy it from RiffTrax.  It's well worth the five dollars..