Thursday, October 5, 2017

Halloween Movie Madness '17: Frogs

October is finally here!  This year, it brings the long awaited return of Halloween Movie Madness!  I decided I needed to try and make this year special, so most of the movies on this year's list are films that I haven't seen before(and I will probably wish I never sat through half of them).


I've talked a little bit about Frogs before as a movie that would be perfect for RiffTrax, and I don't want to go on too much more about it.  I don't think I can help myself though!

The first few minutes show Pickett Smith (Sam Elliot), canoeing around taking pictures of wildlife, trash, and title screens.  Two people are driving around on a speedboat, and they almost run over Pickett.  They pull him in their boat, and go to the family land nearby.  Grandpa doesn't really like outsiders, but he seems to turn pretty hospitable to Pickett during lunch.

The first fifteen minutes of the movie are classic character introduction.  They are all literally introduced personally to Pickett.  When we get to the aforementioned lunch, the topic of discussion turns, naturally, to frogs.

It seems there is a larger than usual population this summer.  Grandpa asks Pickett if he wouldn't mind looking around a bit, and seeing if he can think of a way to deal with the frogs.

Shortly after beginning his trip, he finds our first casualty.  I think he was the groundskeeper?

After this we start to get our other deaths.  They are all ridiculous.

This guy, after shooting himself in the leg for no good reason, gets attacked by tarantulas who web him up like Spider-Man.  And there's a scorpion thrown in for good measure.

Another guy is killed in the greenhouse by a monitor lizard and a bunch of geckos.  They knock down bottles of poison, and they break and for some reason spew out gas that kills him.

Someone is killed by a combination of a bunch of snakes and leeches.  When I say a bunch of snakes, I mean it.  There are rattlesnakes, water moccasins, and more.  F.Y.I.: Rattlesnake bites are apparently instant death.

Alligators also get in on the fun, and even a snapping turtle gets his.

And the whole time, the frogs are watching.  They don't actually kill anyone directly though.

The most annoying thing about this movie is the soundtrack.  It's all random beeps and boops that sound like someone playing something on an Atari 2600.

This is not good in any way, but it is bad in all of the right ways.