Tuesday, May 20, 2014

TBOTS - The Greatest Non-Transformers Ever

When most people think of knockoff Transformers, they think of cheaply made toys that look like Transformers after having a stroke.  They generally don't think of comic books.  I know I didn't.

At least, not until I found this.

I have found the greatest non-Transformers transforming robots coloring book of all time.  This book isn't great because of the robots that look like your average Transformers, because they are rather generic (but still better than Go-Bots).

The only thing special about those is the fact that I don't ever recall a Transformer that turned into a station wagon.

Now, the robot on the cover looks like some sort of bird.  A hawk or eagle, perhaps.  Even that seems like fairly standard fare compared to what is inside the book.  You see, the best parts of this coloring book are the animal robots.

These are the best of the animal-bots, in no particular order.


To me, it looks like either a chicken or a grouse.  It is definitely a galliform.  While the thrusters on its back make it look like its gotta go fast, possibly turning its animal form into a projectile of sorts, it doesn't seem like it would cause that much damage in battle.

Slammy the Whale

Slammy doesn't seem to have any weapons, but I don't think it would exactly need them.  This bot could lay the smack down pretty good, just by breaching the water and falling on you.  Definitely stronger than the chicken.


Yes, this tiny bot would mostly be used to gather intelligence, but I bet it has a bad-ass Predator cloaking ability.


Not sure how useful this sea turtle form would be on land like that.  I have always liked sea turtles though.


Big electricity shooting metal crab.  I don't see the connection, but it is pretty sweet anyway.  Tesla and Slammy are BFFs, too.  I just decided that.


Forget boxing with kangaroos.  This one has a laser instead of a paw.  I can picture some epic battles between Kanga-robot and Koalatron.


I think this is the greatest thing to come from this book.  Killer robot penguin that looks like it was patched back up quickly after losing a flipper.  It's just kind of stuck there on its chest. 

This Shark Confuses Me

This shark was pretty cool and all, but while I was going through the rest of the book, I found these two robots.  Both of them look like they turn into sharks.  So, which one is it?  Or is it both, and it is some sort of gender neutral triple changer?  And what's with the floating rock?


As we learned from the Total Riff Off, koalas are nasty.  They are gray balls of STDs and poop.  Imagine getting a hole blasted in you, and then having that hole filled with chlamydia.  This thing might be the perfect killing machine.  Well, Koalatron and this next guy...

Murder Monkey

I haven't been able to distinguish between the good and evil robots based on the two symbols, but if I had to guess, I would say this one is a bad guy.  Mandrills are just straight up evil.  They will rip your face off on a whim.  This one will do that, and then blast you with a rocket.  Right where your face used to be.  And then it would probably pee on you.

Seriously, that face is the epitome of crazy.