Wednesday, October 23, 2013

HMM '13: Troll

It's October! The doorway to not only the start of the greatest food season (early October to Christmas), but also to sexy nurses, zombies, and grown men dressing up like ponies. That also means it is time once again for Halloween Movie Madness! This year, I'll be taking a look back at the movies of my youth. Every movie this year was released before I turned eighteen. These are the Halloween movies that shaped me into the man I am today. Some of them are scary. Some are funny. Some are fantastical. Some are just weird. And not all of them are good. But to me, they are all Halloween movies. Now, stand back, for your own safety! 


Yes, you read that title correctly.  Today's movie is Troll.  Not Troll 2 (a.k.a. One of the worst movies ever put to film).  The first one.  The movie that actually has a troll in it.  And Sonny Bono.  And Elaine.  And the original Harry Potter(but we will get to that in a bit).

Troll is about Torok, a wizard who got himself turned into a troll.  He wants to take over the human realm, and turn people into mythical creatures.  Harry Potter has to stop him.

The only reason I watched this movie in the first place was because of my step-mother.  Yes, she is, once again, the culprit.  There are only a small number of things I remember about this movie, but one of them is the completely bizarre musical number that happens in this film, where all the trolls sing together.

I can't make this stuff up.

Anyway, I also remember that the boy in the movie (played by Atreyu, no less) was named Harry Potter, and he wanted to learn magic from the old witch that lived in the apartment building.  J.K. Rowling was a hack.  Even the movie's producer thinks so, saying, "there are certain scenes in Troll, not to mention the name of the main character, and this of course predates the Harry Potter books by many, many years. So there's that strange connection since both stories are about magic."  So, the story that J.K. Rowling says just fell into her head could easily have gotten it's start here, in this wonderfully crappy movie.

And that is exactly what Troll is.  It's a wonderfully crappy movie.  It isn't good, but it isn't bad either.  It's very middle of the road, with a few fun high points.  Like watching Sonny Bono get all mutated and then splitting apart, unleashing foliage and creatures.

I made a larger number of Gifs Without Context for this one.  Enjoy.