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Sunday, October 7, 2012

HMM '12 Day 7: The Fifth Element

It's finally October! That means two very important things: Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts are here, and Halloween is near! My favorite thing to do in October to prepare myself for Halloween is to, of course, watch movies that I feel best exemplify the season. Now, this doesn't just mean extreme gore fests (of course, I do love me some gore), but I like to include movies that have that Halloween feel. Anyway, let's get to Day 7 of Halloween Movie Madness 2012!

The Fifth Element
(Columbia Pictures, 1997)



Man, I haven't even started watching tonight's movie, and already I'm getting flack for it not being a Halloween movie. "It's got aliens but not like AHHH scary aliens coming to get us... it's like it's the future and my neighbor just happens to be an alien... ok. And Bruce just happens to need to save one."  That is an exact quote. I'm sure this isn't going to be the last movie I will take this flack over, but this is my list, not yours. As it says in my little intro statement thing in italics, I think that Halloween movies can be fun, they don't have to be all blood and gore. So while you may not agree with all of my choices, they are the ones I have made based on the movies I had to choose from.


The movie starts out in Egypt in 1914, where an archaeologist is in some ruins trying to decipher some hieroglyphics. In doing so, he discovers that the ultimate evil comes to destroy everything once every 5,000 years. After a botched poisoning by a priest trying to keep the secret, things are interrupted by some aliens landing at the site. When the professor turns around and sees the aliens, he asks them, "Are you German?" That line always makes me giggle. Yes, I said giggle, deal with it.

The aliens open a chamber and take the stones because they are no longer safe on Earth.  The last alien is trapped in the chamber after Luke Perry accidentally shoots it.  It tells the priest that his new mission is to protect a key and hand it down from priest to priest until they return to fight the evil.

"We are going to make you star in the Resident Evil movies!
From here, we jump ahead 300 years, when the Great Evil is supposed to arrive (and it does).  As the military is trying to figure out what is going on, the latest priest, Vito Cornelius is trying to get President Zeus (the man who took on Hulk Hogan in the movie No Holds Barred) to call off the military ship that is going to attack the Great Evil.  

The ship is destroyed, and we cut to Korben Dallas waking up.  Korben is an ex-major in the military turned flying taxi driver.  After Korben goes to work, we find out that the Mondoshawans (the aliens from the beginning of the movie) are on their way back to earth to deliver the 4 stones and the Ultimate Weapon.  Before they can make it here, they are attacked by the Mangalores.  The Mangalors then contact Zorg (Gary Oldman), to tell him he will have what he wanted soon.  


The only crew member that is recovered from the Mondoshawan ship is a fist.  They are able to rebuild the body into the perfect being a.k.a Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat.  After she is reconstructed, she escapes from the facility, jumps off the building and lands in Korben's taxi.  After a flying police chase, Leeloo tells Korben she needs to see a priest.

For the sake of those who have not seen this movie, I will avoid any further plot points..

Some random thoughts on this movie:

I wish all McDonald's employees looked like the ones in this movie.

I would love to be able to play with one of the guns that Zorg offers to the Mangalors.

When the Great Evil hurts Zorg, it looks like his head is leaking barbecue sauce.

I would hate to have to drive in this future.

I wouldn't mind having one of those strange little elephant thingies that Zorg has in his desk.

Anyway, if you like futuristic sci-fi with good humor, good action, and very interesting creature/costume/and overall world design, and for some reason you haven't seen this movie, you should check it out.

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