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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Bottom Shelf Microwavables Episode 2: Baked Grapefruit

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Microwavables!  We have scoured our library to find the most special "bottom shelf" microwave recipes we could find that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  



Our second foray into the world of microwave cooking was much less successful. If you almost want to vomit like I did, this simple recipe is down below the video!

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Bottom Shelf Mixology S2 - Episode 1: Turkey Smoothie

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Mixology™ video series!  Our staff of Mixologists have decided it would be a good idea to actually test our special "bottom shelf" recipes.  What have we done?


Welcome to the season premiere of Bottom Shelf Mixology!  And happy Thanksgiving!  It's two times the celebration, and we have the perfect drink to mark the occasion!

Join us as we drink the Turkey Smoothie (a.k.a. Pumpkin Pie Daiquiri)!

Bottom Shelf Microwavables Episode 1 Pt. 2: Thanksgiving Special

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Microwavables!  We have scoured our library to find the most special "bottom shelf" microwave recipes we could find that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  




We know you've all been waiting in anticipation for the exciting conclusion of our Microwaved Thanksgiving Dinner... so here it is!

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Today's Bottom Shelf Microwavables Recipes:

Corn Bubble
~You Will Need~
1. 1 Can of Corn (16 oz)
2. 2 tbsp Butter
3. 1 Small Onion (Chopped)
4. 2 tbsp Flour
5. 1/2 tsp Paprika
6. 1 tsp Salt
7. 1/4 tsp Dry Mustard
8. Pepper (optional)
9. 3/4 cup Milk
10. 1 Egg (Lightly Beaten with Milk)
11. Microwave
12. A Microwave-Safe Container
 ~Cooking Your Corn Bubble~
1. Put your chopped onions and butter into your microwave-safe container and cook on a High heat setting for 1-2 minutes.
2. Mix in flour, salt, paprika, dry mustard, and pepper (optional).
3. Stir in milk and egg mixture slowly.
4. Cook for 8-10 minutes on medium-high heat or until there is no remaining liquid.
5. Cover your dish an let the mixture rest for 3-5 minutes before serving.

Apple and Pork Sausage Stuffing
~You Will Need~
1. 1 pound of Ground Pork/Pork Sausage
2. 1 Large Onion (or 2 Small Onions) (Chopped)
3. 1 cup Applesauce (or one Baby Food Jar of Applesauce)
4. 2 tbsp Butter
5. 1 cup of Hot Water
6. 1 Cube of Chicken Bouillon
7. 1 1/2 tsp Seasoned Salt
8. 2 cups (or 1 Box) of Stuffing Mix
9. Microwave
10. 2 Microwave-Safe Containers
~Cooking Your Apple and Pork Sausage Stuffing~
1. Cook pork in a microwave-safe container on a high heat setting for 3-7 minutes or until all of the meat has browned.
2. In a separate container, heat onions and butter for 4-5 min.
3. Mix everything together and microwave on High for 2 min.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Bottom Shelf Microwavables Episode 1 Pt. 1: Thanksgiving Special

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Microwavables!  We have scoured our library to find the most special "bottom shelf" microwave recipes we could find that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  


It's that special time of year where the Bottom Shelf Crew will stuff their faces and probably not pay that much attention to sportsball! If you're like any of us who have never prepared a Thanksgiving dinner, feel free to NOT make one like the one we made!


Today's Bottom Shelf Microwavables Recipes:

Microwaved Turkey (Whole)
~You Will Need~
1. 1 Whole Turkey
2. Butter
3. Oven Bag
4. Glass Baking Dish
5. Microwave
6. Meat Thermometer
~Defrosting Your Turkey~
1. Place whole turkey into microwave with the wrapping still in tact and defrost for 5-6 minutes per pound on the lowest heat setting. You will stop the microwave at the halfway point.
2. Let the turkey rest for 30 minutes
3. After the turkey has cooled, remove the wrappings and cover the wing and leg tips with aluminum foil.
4. Return the turkey to the microwave for the remainder of the defrosting time.
5. Remove turkey from microwave and allow it to rest for another 30 minutes.
~Cooking Your Turkey~
1. Remove the gross bits of your turkey (giblets/neck/etc.) and rise your turkey in cold water.
2. Spread butter all over your turkey.
3. Place turkey in a microwave safe oven-bag and seal it.
4. Set the bagged turkey in a glass baking dish.
5. Cut small vents into the top of your bag to allow the turkey to breathe.
6. Cook your turkey for 6-8 minutes per pound at a medium-high heat setting.
7. Your turkey is ready once the internal temperature reaches 170 F (or 76.67 C.)

Corn Bubble
~You Will Need~
1. 1 Can of Corn (16 oz)
2. 2 tbsp Butter
3. 1 Small Onion (Chopped)
4. 2 tbsp Flour
5. 1/2 tsp Paprika
6. 1 tsp Salt
7. 1/4 tsp Dry Mustard
8. Pepper (optional)
9. 3/4 cup Milk
10. 1 Egg (Lightly Beaten with Milk)
11. Microwave
12. A Microwave-Safe Container
~Cooking Your Corn Bubble~
1. Put your chopped onions and butter into your microwave-safe container and cook on a High heat setting for 1-2 minutes.
2. Mix in flour, salt, paprika, dry mustard, and pepper (optional).
3. Stir in milk and egg mixture slowly.
4. Cook for 8-10 minutes on medium-high heat or until there is no remaining liquid.
5. Cover your dish an let the mixture rest for 3-5 minutes before serving.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Bottom Shelf Mixology: Hot Punch in the Mouth

Welcome to Bottom Shelf Mixology!  We have racked our brains (and our livers) to come up with special "bottom shelf" versions of popular drinks, and some original creations that range from "oh, that might be interesting" to "that sounds absolutely disgusting".  
 

Hot Punch in the Mouth

  • 32 oz Cran-apple Juice Cocktail
  • 1 Tbsp Powdered Lemonade Drink Mix
  • 4 Cloves
  • 6 Hot Tamales Candies
  • 1/4 cup Brown Sugar
  • 1 cup Franzia Chillable Red Wine

Combine everything but the wine in a large microwave safe bowl.  Cover it, and microwave it on High for two minutes.  Stir it, and put it back in on High for another two minutes.

Add in the wine, and, you guessed it, back on High for two more minutes.

As soon as the microwave stops, pull your bowl out, and serve this piping hot punch!

This drink is another wonderful addition to the holiday season, especially for those adults who have to sit at the kids table when you run out of seats at the adult table because your cousin Alex brought his new girlfriend Marlene and her two adult sons without informing the rest of the family first, and they get to sit at the adult table because they are guests.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Bottom Shelf Munchies Episode 17: Target Exclusive - Brach's Brunch Favorites Candy Corn

Welcome to the Bottom Shelf Munchies video series!  Our Bottom Shelf Crew is dumb enough to try out these odd treats just so you don't have to!  What have we done?

For the season finale, we decided to try out a sure abomination: breakfast food flavored candy corn!




New seasons of Bottom Shelf Munchies & Bottom Shelf Mixology start the week of November 20!